Till you're almost gone
by TheOfficalGleek
Summary: You do not know what you have until its almost gone so savor every moment


_He came downstairs with one, single packed suitcase and a passport in hand. I asked him what was going on, was he going on an unplanned trip to go visit some relative in Italy. He told me he is leaving, for good. I knew why. It was because of Dylan. Everything was because of Dylan. Marco I screamed but no sound came out I ran after him and out the front door as he climbed in the front seat of the yellow taxicab. A strangled sob escaped my throat. I begged and pleaded with him not to leave me, I told him I loved him and that I needed him. I didn't know how I would get on without him. Tears were falling freely down both of our faces and I could tell he did not want to leave me. Please Marco don't do this I cried and he stepped out of the taxicab's door and kissed me on the forehead. I love you to El but I have to get away you have to understand this he said climbing back in the yellow striped car. I watched as he told the driver to start towards the airport. There he goes, my best friend gone. I collapsed on the sidewalk sobbing into my hands. And that's how Sean found me crying on the sidewalk._

It's been almost a year since Marco left and everyone has been walking on eggshells around me, afraid that any day I am going to just take a gun to my head and kill myself. Marco was my best friend he was my other half, almost literally and there are some days where I think is today the day he is coming back and then I always wind up disappointed. Some days I think about what would happen if I did indeed take that gun to my head. Would he come to my funeral and cry with everyone else, moan that if he had just stayed this would not have happened, and tell everyone he was sorry. But no one would believe that it was his fault, they all knew that Ellie Nash was a ticking time bomb ready to explode and take her own life. Everyone would just say that him leaving was just another let down in my short life.

I am back with Sean you know. He found me on the sidewalk that day and took me inside, whispering the whole time that it was going to be okay, that he was there for me and that I did not have to worry about anything. He has really been a great help and I think I love him. No, I know I love him but he still does not get that I cannot live without Marco by my side. Marco was my Oprah, my very own Dr. Phil and I was his. We confided in each other when there was no one else. So here I sit drinking some of The Dot's famous coffee, black like my soul. Remembering the old days when I would sit here with Marco and Paige sometimes even Hazel. Marco was the only one who actually wanted me here I did not even want to be there but I, unlike Paige was not going to make him choose so I sat there kind of like I am today alone and unwanted drinking that damn coffee just sitting there and when I was finished with this cup I would go home and snuggle up on the couch with Sean right next to me. As I downed the last of the coffee Spinner approached my table

" You done?" he asked me and I just looked at him "El," he sighed sitting down next to me. "You gotta give it up, no one has talked to Marco in a year he is not coming back you are worrying everyone even Paige who really could give a crap about anyone else," leave it to Spinner to be that blunt. He got up and shook his head saying, " Coffee's on the house…just think about what I said," Sean probably put him up to that I thought. I can tell that Sean is getting aggravated with my depression but there is no way to stop this. He has no idea what it is like to loose someone this close to you.

I walked out of The Dot that annoying ringing noise sounding in my ears. I hung my head and ran to my car as thunder started to sound and rain poured. I had to try and clear my mind and focus on the task at hand, pulling out onto the busy Toronto streets I did not notice the car that was quickly making its way towards me. I heard a loud crash that seemed to perfectly collide with the sharps pains that went through my entire body I let out a loud blood-curdling scream. My vision suddenly faded the last thing I saw was the body of a man crying and screaming my name as I felt my body go limp and I knew no more.

The day I left still replays in my mind everyday right before I fall asleep. I knew I had made a huge mistake but I had to leave, the pain and sorrow left in that house still lives there and I could not deal with it anymore. Dylan. What an ass I knew I still loved him though after everything that had happened the cheating the leaving, everything. Ellie was the only person who understood what I was going through because of all the people who have left her in her short life Her mom, her dad, Ash, Sean and now me. It was a selfish decision I know it was but there is not turning back now only moving forward and I miss her. I miss her so much that it pains me.

Every red head I see reminds me of my best friend, every time I hear the familiar snapping of those rubber bands I look around trying to find her in a sea of people but it always turns out to be someone else. Just another depressed teenager but not Ellie, no, it is never her. She was never just another cutter or another Goth or another poor soul left behind in a life of sadness. She had real problems, her dead father killed in war they never found his body. Her mother an abusive alcoholic hitting her for every bad grade, every mistake, she never cared about her daughter. Ash, once her other best friend she left her for Paige and then for her English boyfriend. Sean, could not deal with the pain of the shooting. And then you have me who left for his own stupid reasons his own selfishness. What was I thinking?

I moved to Rhode Island to find comfort, to try to forget about everything, but the quiet town of Warwick did not help. I work as a guidance counselor at a local high school called Tollgate and the stories that some of the kids came to me with reminded to much of Ellie. A girl with a soldier for a dad, a boy with an alcoholic mother, every person who came into my office was dealing with something that Ellie had been through, I told them stories of my best friend who healed from cutting and moved away from her mom, who lived through a depression and survived a school shooting. I told them the story of when I found out about her self-harm problem and every time the kid walks out with a different outlook on life. A suicidal kid realizes that there is something to live for and someone whose dad was killed in war finds out that they can make it through everything.

Sometimes I get these feelings that something bad is going to happen, that someone I care deeply about is in danger. As I sit here in my tiny house on the beach all alone I know that something is happening. I turn on the news to try and get my mind off everything when a story about a terrible car accident captures me. Living near Canada our news channel broadcasts their news and this particular story takes place in Toronto, Canada, my hometown. They zoom in on the familiar sign of The Dot Grill as rain pours down outside, my hands start to sweat. The accident looks terrible the front of one car is smashed in but the other is a mess. The reporter says that the owner of the second car was pulling out of the parking lot when her car was struck it swerved and hit a tree on the side of the road. The attacker was apparently drunk and was being pulled inside a police car.

My heart stops in its track as I notice the paramedics loading a very petite looking girl with red hair into the back of an ambulance.

" The name of the attacker is Jacob Johnston a forty-three year old male who is unemployed and this is his second drunk driving offence. Johnston will be charged with drunk driving and more charges." The reporter says." The woman in the accident was twenty year old Ellie Nash," I gasp and start to shake reaching over to grab the phone tears cloud my vision " Nash is a student at Toronto University and writes for their paper The Core. The only information given about her condition is that she was very severely inured and might not make it through the night," I jumped up turning off my TV and threw a bunch of clothes in a suitcase grabbing my keys I ran out the door. I had to see Ellie.

Author's note: like it hate it want to destroy it review if you want me to continue

_Forgotten disclaimer: I do not own anything Epitome pictures does, but im willing to by it _


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